We all want our children and students to thrive – to become all they were meant to be. But how is this to be accomplished? What conditions are required for optimal functioning? What experiences are essential to the unfolding of human potential? In this presentation a comprehensive map for parents and professionals who want more than just strategies for handling problem behaviour. There are four essential experiences necessary for the unfolding of human potential. The answers to helping children flourish are surprising when seen in the context of current practice and prevailing attitudes.