Irreducible Needs: What Kids Must Have to Thrive
Raffi Cavoukian, a children’s singer, songwriter, and child advocate, wrote a song titled – All I really need – which beautifully captures from a child’s perspective their most essential…
Portfolio Categories: School
Ten Things Teachers Need Most From Parents
As a teacher, I used to look forward to September despite the typical back to school nightmares that would visit me before classes started. There…
When Play Ends and Boredom Begins
Understanding boredom in kids is serious business. A mother of a 7-year old boy sat in my office, clearly distressed and said, “I take away…
The Surprising Secret Behind Kid’s Resistance and Opposition
Why is it that young children can lock down in protest at the mere suggestion of getting dressed or undressed? Why do school-age kids seem…
The Vulnerability Problem of the Bully
Bullies thrive on exploiting the vulnerability in others. Instead of protecting those who are in a weaker position they take advantage of them. They revel…
The Teacher Has My Child’s Heart
With relief and delight my sister called me and said her 6 year old son had just drawn a picture of someone he loved –…
Good Fit Friends: Helping Kids Navigate Peer Relationships
There was a time when the hardest part of going to school for most kids was the academic work. Today, some of the toughest days…
The One Thing Every Kid Needs in their School Backpack
A friend told me her son couldn’t understand why a young child he knew had such a hard time being away from his mother while…
Morning Mayhem: Getting Out the Door with Kids
If there was one common experience in parenting it would be the morning dance of the frazzled parent and the child moving at a snail’s…
The Five Things Master Teachers Know and Do
What is the difference between a great teacher and a master teacher? After years of hiring and working with teachers, along with decades of experience…
5. The most difficult kids to manage are the ones that need you the most
Master teachers know that the hardest students to teach and build relationships with are the ones that need adults most of all. Not all students are ready to learn when they come to school. Learning requires a luxury in attention that not all students have - there are other distressing issues and events that have hijacked their focus.
Every student has a story to tell and a lack of learning isn't always about the relationship with a teacher but indicative of a child's overall life situation. Master teachers are often moved to reach out to these students and see past the behaviour and learning problems. They yearn to give these students an adult relationship that will work for them, to invite them to learn, and to lean on them. What they offer these kids is a lifeline. They work to help the students see they are still holding onto them, that they are still welcome to be in relationship with them, and that they are confident there is a way through.
Kids who need adults most of all often reveal it in the most unusual of ways and master teachers know this. They are developmentalists at heart and believe all things grow with time, patience, and good caretaking.
What master teachers know is that neither their curriculum, nor educational technology, nor credentials will assure them of success in a classroom. They know that what their students need most of all is an invitation for relationship where they feel a sense of belonging, of mattering, of being seen, heard, and of being valued. The teachers who start from this place will take their students far. It is surest way to know that they will be following close behind.
Dr. Deborah MacNamara is a counsellor and Director of Kid's Best Bet Counselling and Family Resource Centre, on faculty at the Neufeld Institute, and author of 
